What is Nonviolent Communication
What is Nonviolent Communication?
Nonviolent Communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg is both a consciousness that helps us see our common humanity, and a practical set of skills to help us connect with ourselves and communicate more effectively with others in a way that values everyone’s human dignity.
Marshall Rosenberg recognized that blame, judgment and punishment are learned behaviors reinforced by the language and thinking we inherit from society, which creates walls between ourselves and others (and even between us and our own hearts). Though most of the time we don't intend to cause harm, there are ways in which our language can perpetuate conflict and pain. Becoming aware and rigorous with our thinking changes our language, which changes our relationships, which (fingers crossed), changes the world.
Basic premises of NVC:
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We are compassionate by nature, and naturally enjoy contributing to others when we can do so willingly, without any sense of guilt, shame or obligation.
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We all share the same basic Universal Human Needs.
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Everything we do is a strategy to meet one or more of these Universal Human needs.
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Our thoughts and language play a large role in connecting or disconnecting us from our compassionate nature. They determine how we interpret our experiences.
What NVC is NOT:
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a sophisticated way to manipulate people to get our own way; it’s about taking responsibility for changing ourselves so that we inspire the quality of connection we want.
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about being nice; it’s about being real. With care for everyone’s dignity. Authenticity and kindness can be very close friends.
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a ‘soft’ option; it requires courage, authenticity, commitment and self-honesty.
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a technique or formula; It does contain a 4-step communication process (see below), but integrating the “why” behind the process is where inner transformation begins. For example, when I can see someone’s behavior, whether I like their actions or not, as someone’s best attempt to meet a wholesome, relatable, human need, my heart can soften towards them. And my choice in how to respond becomes more skillful and effective
NVC is offered in over 65 countries worldwide in many different contexts: intimate relationships, parenting, health care, social services, business organizations, police, prison staff and inmates, governments, schools and social change activism.
